


Curse you, Pablo the Person!

by raindropfeathers



Series: Time Is A Social Construct [2]
Category: Justice League - All Media Types, Teen Titans - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: But not in the way you're thinking, Food, Funny, I mean I thought it was funny, Identity Reveal, Isolated Batfamily (DCU), M/M, Married Barry Allen/Iris West, Minor Barry Allen/Iris West, POV Barry Allen, POV Outsider, Phineas and Ferb References, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, because speedsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29538204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raindropfeathers/pseuds/raindropfeathers
Summary: The Titans have a villain that decides to break into their house. One of the Titans makes a lousy attempt to fight him. The boy runs off, the Titan in question yelling "Curse you, Pablo the Person!" or any variation of it. That is how it works. The League has no idea what's going on, and probably never will.On a completely unrelated note, Barry has never met Wally's boyfriend.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Wally West, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Garth & Dick Grayson & Roy Harper & Donna Troy & Wally West
Series: Time Is A Social Construct [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168766
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Curse you, Pablo the Person!

**Author's Note:**

> This is set before Clark Kent and Lois Lane Interview the Waynes.
> 
> And, um, hope you enjoy?

The Titans were a strange bunch, Barry mused. He had just come back from visiting them, he had to give Wally case files. It was a short run, but he had forgotten to eat his snack before, so now he was eating in the Watchtower cafeteria. 

Olive slid in the chair next to him. “See Pablo today?” Barry swallowed his bite of hamburger before shaking his head. 

The Titans had weird super villains. A super-nerd who decided to become evil, some random street racer called ‘Ding Dong Daddy’, an old man who is determined to bring the US back to Britain, and a stereotypical witch who brainwashes children with pie. But it was collectively agreed that the League’s favorite was Pablo, or whatever his name was.

It had started when the Titans were young teenagers, just Roy, Donna, Wally, and Garth. The League had decided to check in on them, not bothering to warn them. They were all lounging on their couch, eating a pepperoni pizza. They had just walked in.

“Hey, kids!” Barry greeted, startling the kids. Wally cursed and went to sit up, but then there was another voice.

“Snickerdoodles.” 

The League’s heads whipped up to the young voice, seeing a boy in a bright yellow jumpsuit in the doorway. Wally ran up to him, aiming to punch, but the boy just stuck his foot out and tripped him. Wally went crashing to the floor, the boy backflipping away. The other Titans were still frozen. Wally eventually pushed himself up and shook his fist at the sky, yelling, “Curse you, Pablo the Person!”

What. 

None of the Titans made any move to follow this criminal though. Was he a criminal? He didn’t exactly seem villainous, except for the mind-meltingly bright yellow jumpsuit. Maybe that was his calling card? Murdering people with neon? 

“Do you need assistance with apprehending this ‘Pablo’?” Diana asked, hand on her lasso. 

“Nah, but thanks. He just does that.” Donna said, reaching for another slice of pizza. 

“He just what? Breaks into your HQ and then evades capture?” Oliver asks, doubtful.

“Yup.”

“And then leaves you alone?”

“Basically.”

“He doesn’t steal anything? Taunt you? Threaten you? Blackmail?”

“Nope. Want some pizza?”

“You know what, yes. I would like some pizza.”

That wasn’t the only time it’d happened, either. Diana informed them that the boy had come again, this time in a black victorian suit. Donna had been the one to go after him, yelling “Curse you, Harry the Human!”

Maybe his name was Harry.

Pablo only showed up whenever they went unannounced, strangely enough. He almost always wore a completely different outfit each time, and he never once had the same name. If it weren’t for the same “Snickerdoodles” each and every time, they would have almost thought he was a group of people. The League kept a journal of his different names. Currently, it had Robert the Revolutionary, Daniel the Daring, Mark the Man, Harold the Homo Sapien, Mason the Mortal, Ben the Being, and George the Gothamite. 

Apparently, he was from Gotham. It explained the outfits, at least.

It kept up even when they got more members. They didn’t see Pablo as much when Raven was around, but whenever she was gone, he was there. Barry had seen him right after Blackfire left to space prison.

“Curse you, Donald the Dashing!” Starfire had yelled, launching one singular star bolt at him which he promptly dodged. Donald? had laughed and jumped straight out the open window. Barry had left soon after that.

It was painfully obvious they were hiding something. He wasn’t even sure they were trying anymore. Hal said that they had just stared down Pablo for like five minutes before Roy finally picked up the remote and lazily threw it at Pablo’s feet. Barry almost believed him.

The thing is, is that even if you know something is lying, you only know what it is not, not what it is. They still had no clue who Pablo was or what his relationship to the Titans was. They didn’t know if he was their best friend or just some tolerable random idiot. They didn’t know if Pablo was actually breaking in or if he had the codes. 

They also didn’t know why they were hiding it. Why would they hide their friend? Maybe it was just a running gag that they wanted to see how long it would last. Maybe Pablo didn’t exist, and it was all just a trick. Maybe Pablo was still evil and was manipulating the Titans. Whatever the reason, the League had no idea what was going on.

(Barry was pretty sure Pablo wasn’t evil. You can’t be that evil if you wear neon pink socks with yellow smiley faces. Then again, Pablo did have that mullet phase…)

They didn’t press it either. The Titans would tell them when they were ready. They trusted them, right? And if they were in trouble, they would surely call for help. Wouldn’t they?

Barry finished his third hamburger and went back to work. 

  
  
  


Barry’s phone rang. He scrambled around, searching under the mess of papers. He finally saw the phone and clicked accept without checking the ID.

“Hello, Barry Allen speaking.”

“Hey, Uncle Barry,” A familiar voice rang through the phone. Barry smiled as he settled back down in his chair.

“Hey, kiddo. What’s up?”

“Can I bring a guest to dinner tonight? There’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Sure. Who is it? Am I finally meeting that boyfriend of yours?” Wally laughed, and Barry took a bite of his doughnut. Mmmmmm, chocolatey goodness.

“Yeah, actually. I’ve kinda been thinking of moving in with him, but you two haven’t even met yet.” Barry swallowed before replying. 

“I’m sure we’ll get along great. Where were you thinking of going? California? Maine? Oooh, Metropolis?”

Wally laughed nervously. Uh oh, was it out of the country? “Um, Gotham, actually.” Barry spat out his coffee. Gotham? Oh god, Wally was going to die. Or go insane. He’d be tortured by the insane supervillains. He’s be poisoned. Or crippled. Or 

“Uncle Barry?”

Barry came back to himself. Right, he was on a phone call. “Um, okay, how about I meet that boyfriend of yours first. Then we can talk about you moving.”

Wally gave an obvious sigh of relief. “Ok, thanks, Uncle Barry. Dick’s really not that bad, he’s super sweet. And funny. And cute. His family’s a bit odd, but he makes it worth it.” Awww, Wally’s in ~loooooove~. Wait, did he say the name was...

“Dick?”

“Short for Richard. He insists.” Ok, then.

“Huh. See you tonight!”

“Bye!” Wally hung up

  
  


The doorbell rang. Barry jumped up to get it. Iris had made this awesome lasagna, the one that had like seven layers and five different kinds of cheese. It was sooo good, but she wouldn’t allow them to eat it until Wally and his boyfriend were here. And Barry liked Wally’s company, of course. 

He opened the door to see Wally alone on the doorstep. Barry opened his mouth to ask, but Wally beat him to it.

“Don’t tell anyone, okay?” Wally sounded nervous. Barry nodded, and his boyfriend stepped in view.

His boyfriend…. Who was wearing that exact same neon yellow jumpsuit with orange shoes and belt and pink glittery makeup that he wore when they first met. 

“Hi, I’m Wally’s boyfriend,” Pablo the Person greeted. Snickerdoodles.

**Author's Note:**

> Once Barry gets over his shock, he laughs for like an hour straight. 
> 
> Later that week, Barry Allen is invited over to Wayne Manor. To meet his probably will be in-laws. There are swords. And knives. And blood. Barry rethinks his decision to allow Wally to live in Gotham.


End file.
